CHILDREN’S GROWTH CAUSE CHANGES IN PARENTS

by

Janai Lowenstein, M.S. (c) 1997

Out of sheer habit I opened the door because he’d been too short for years to reach it by himself. Then suddenly one day, through tippy toes and stretching fingers, my help wasn’t needed anymore. My once required assistance became a nuisance to him overnight. Breaking the habit of opening that door taught me that either I was slowing down my adaptability to change or simply wasn’t as smart as I used to be.

My once efficient ability to load the dishwasher and train daughter to do so was also replaced. Suddenly, on day, our daughter insisted her was was MORE efficient than mine. She must have gotten smarter while I didn’t.

Haunting flashbacks were triggered by these incidents of my mother telling me she wasn’t so dumb after all. Moreover, someday my children would do to me what I did to her. In that case, I’m just reaping what I certainly did sow.

Whether or not my smarts were shriveling, the key point to the rapid changes that occur in life with growing children appears to be adjustment to change. Just as I settle in and get used to something being a certain way, PRESTO!, the magic dust flies and a new trick is at hand.

The advantage to all of this? It is not likely that becoming sedentary will overpower my will to be flexible, adaptable and grow with my children. To do that would be like fighting all of Nature. With Mother Nature constantly in flux, I guess my children are just trying to keep me in step with the changing times.

Adjusting-to-change Tips:

1. As parents we have to be on our tippy-toes and stretch with our children’s ever-changing needs and accomplishments.

2. By accepting growthful changes in children and adapting quickly, we give children the respect that we ultimately want for our own growth, too. Through the giving of respect we create an experience for children that will nurture and help them know how to give respect to others as well as receive it.

3. It is not necessary as a parent to give away our rights as human beings in order to make way for our children to feel better about themselves. Self-respect is essential to stand on steady ground without being threatened by our changing children. Come to think of it, I don’t feel smartless at all with so many years of practice!

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Last modified: November 19, 1997