WHAT YOU CAN DO WHEN THE KIDS BLOW YOUR MIND?

Janai Lowenstein, M.S.

[Exerpt from the book Recipes For Caring]

All I could think was "MY son did THAT!" At first I blamed myself: "Where have I gone wrong? Why would MY child do a thing like this?" My thoughts rambled as I stared at the plate of mushy red goulash my three year old son removed from the table and SAT IN because he was angry about having to eat it for lunch. His gray corduroy seat was smothered in squashed redness, his double-seamed crotch dangled with macaroni noodles.

I was furious, irate, irrational - partially because I'd just finished washing, drying, folding, putting away four loads of laundry. The other part of the madness came from having to cope with something so animalistic, so incredibly obnoxious, so full of yuckness FROM MY OWN CHILD. He'd previously done some mind blowers but this one short-circuited my brain.

Without wisdom or any creative intelligence, let alone sane objectivity, I told him he was going to have to eat the very thing he sat in. When he looked at me like I was crazy, I realized I was. How unsanitary to have a child eat food that he sat in with pants he'd been wearing for several hours and had all kinds of who-knows-what on them! I ate my words, he didn't eat the flattened goulash. While taking deep breaths I cleaned his pants and expressed anger, hurt, disappointment in his behavior (plus mentioned having more laundry to do). I secretly tried to regain composure and figure out what in the world to do to teach him a lesson. Heaven forbid that he should go through a stage of sitting in food he didn't want to eat... HEAVEN FORBID!

The way to teach him a lesson had to be food related. Since he's a snack-loving child, no snacks were permitted the rest of the day. It's been several years since that gory occasion and he hasn't sat in a plate of food again.Mind-Blower Tips:

1. After the shock, hold the tongue until you are sane in mind, body, emotions.

2. Take some deep breaths to relax the muscles, lower blood pressure, calm nerves, clear thoughts.

3. Express your feeling, thoughts. If a good idea for reprimand is slow to present itself, tell child you're thinking about what to do so the mind-blower is never repeated.

4. At some point ask child why he did it and how he feels about self when doing something obnoxious.

RECIPES FOR CARING #457 $10

PARENTS, TEACHERS, CHILD CAREGIVERS! ! ! ! Easy, step-by-step answers to everyday incidences with children that leave caregivers baffled are relayed in simple, practical approaches. You'll enjoy knowing how to growthfully handle challenges such as anger, jealousy, lying, fighting, killing games, temper tantrums, bedwetting, nightmares, death, interruptions, pain, tattletale, plus many more discipline and crisis problems. Janai Lowenstein's creative techniques can save you energy while helping you build confidence about your guidance with children. Often sent as grandparent's helping gift to parents.